Finding my Joie de vivre

Hi Blog,
Long time no update! I have not neglected you in vain though blog, I have been out living life to the fullest and while doing that I believe I found my joie de vivre! I promise when I get home to write a whole run down of what happened on my adventures on my blog but today I want to tell you that I feel more healed and happy than I have in a long time.

I was so nervous about going on the tour alone and meeting new people but SO excited to see all the sights I had been daydreaming back at my desk job.
Cruising down the canals of Amsterdam I began to let myself back into socializing and realized how sweet it could be. I made some fantastic friends and had so much fun all over Europe with them!

Then we were off to Germany and Austria, which I loved so much more than I had expected to. The details of the architecture, unique history, the hospitable people, and the Beer Halls really won me over. We also visited a Dachau concentration camp and I had a really emotional moment there realizing the impact of hate in the world and the impact it had in my own life (that is a whole separate blog for another day).

I was pretty excited about Italy and for the most part it didn't disappoint. It was a bit dirty and some of the people were a bit "intense" but the history and the food totally made up for that. Venice was brilliant with it's canal and maze of streets! The Gondola, dinner, and exploring with my new friends was a huge highlight of my trip. After that we were off to Rome, where I was quite sick and almost went back to the hotel after the Vatican tour. I am so glad that I pushed myself to go on because standing in the Coliseum was everything I thought it would be and more. I hoped that standing in a place steeped in such history would make my history seem rather small and my future possibilities endless and that is exactly how I felt. Florence was another city that I didn't have that many expectations about and was pleasantly surprised by. The history, architecture, and Michelangelo's David totally blew me away. We had a delicious dinner, a very charming Opera singer serenaded us, drank a lot of wine and some imperial drops (dangerous!) before went out to "Space Eletronique Discoteque". It was there that I realized how much fun crazy, drunk dancing can be and that Italians love us big girls haha (more on that later).
The next day we had a very hungover drive to Lucerne, Switzerland where we stayed in a hotel called The Jail. The pictures I put up when I get home will do no justice to how creepy yet cool this place was. Lucerne reminded me of Banff back home and the people were very lovely.

After a long drive the next day we landed in Paris. The rudeness of some of the people and the crazy drivers all over the place didn't made the city any less gorgeous! I can't find the right words sitting here right now to describe how I felt when I saw the Eiffel Tower sparkle like diamonds in front of my eyes. I have that tower all over my bedroom, living room, laptop, and neck back home and to see the real deal was a legitimate dream come true. I have never been happier than in that moment. I felt like I had accomplished something and that I had brought myself back from a really dark place, FINALLY! It was a moment filled with joy, sweetness, pride and so much more. A moment that nothing can sour it. A moment I will carry with me all my life.

I promise to have much more to tell you blog when I am back home but for now I am going to enjoy my time with my family and London.
Much Love,
A

Greetings from rainy London

Hello people who read this!
I am here in London which is so SURREAL! I am so lucky to have my family here they have been so hospitable and kind to me! I love them. I had an insane yet wicked fun day in London on Friday with a fellow Corus casuality Sarah and her lovely friend Kate. It started off a bit rocky when we were both waiting at different Marks and Spencers at St.Pancras train station. I had to quiet the old me freaking out in my brain and calm myself down. I tried to look for a payphone, in the land of red booths you think they would be EVERYWHERE, not so much! Anyways bought phone and met up with Sarah. Then we went sight-seeing and drinking before heading over to Clapham for the BEST firework ever! Thank you Guy Fawke's for attempting down to burn down British Parliment and giving the English a reason to have amazing fireworks! Anyways lost Sarah on the tube and then found her again and then got on another train with VERY drunk people, which made me feel less drunk.
Spent some time on Saturday with my wonderful family and saw MORE fireworks! Yay! Then yesterday I saw yet some MORE family before heading to London to get to my hotel. Met my roomie she is really nice from Toronto.
Today was my first day alone in London and yeah it was a doozy! A storm has hit so it is cold and rainy and my sense of direction is BRUTAL! Spent the whole morning lost in the rain and when I found the place I was going it was not yet open! Grrrr.... so today has been a bit frustrating! Meeting my tour mates in a few minutes! So excited! Really looking forward to Europe tomorrow! I am sorry to say but I am bit over London, maybe I am here just at a wrong time. Anyways sorry for this unorganized rushed post but that is how I roll in internet cafes people. Keep you posted soon! EUROPE HERE I COME!
Love,
A

Bon Voyage

Today I have sort of been going back and forth from disbelief and freaking out. One minute it doesn't feel like this thing I have been wanting for years is actually happening; then the next minute I am slapping myself into the realization that this trip is happening and then worrying about all the things that could go wrong after tomorrow. This neurotic craziness is what usually leads to the demise of any plans I had to go after my goals. I worry myself out of chasing my dreams and doing anything risky and maybe fun!
So that is why on the euphoria of "Andrea 2.0" I booked Europe as soon as I could. Because going by myself to Europe is something this new version of myself was/is determined to make happen. The new version of myself must have also subconsciously known that if I had waited to book Europe, the old me would pop back up and talk myself out of it.
I maybe worrying myself sick today about all the things that could wrong after tomorrow but the fact is tomorrow and the next five weeks are booked and happening. And I can worry about every little thing that could go wrong along the way or just enjoy the moments and the experiences I am being blessed with. And that is what I am sincerely going to try to do. I will be carrying my journal and writing and I will blog when I can. Until we meet again Pop Goes Andrea. Bon Voyage!

Embracing Adventure!

I have only been in an airplane by myself a couple of times. And it was only from Calgary to Winnipeg and Saskatoon and back. But now I am going to be 8 hours in the air by myself and then in a big ass airport by myself, probably getting lost! This all started to bubble in my head while trying to sleeping last night, probably because it is hitting me that I am leaving the day after tomorrow.

The last couple of years I have kind of become an expert of doing things on my own. Movies and dinners. I actually began to savor my independence, when I was living away from home. I like deciding what to put on my own pizza, I like choosing what movie to watch, and I learned to love doing my own thing. This is probably because I had too many years of being some bossy friends’ doormat and during these last few years of anti-socializing, I found myself in the freedom I was given.

I had dreamt of going to Europe with some friends but it never worked out with schedules and budgets. So, now I am off alone and I get to see these places I have been daydreaming about for years. And yeah it is really scary to be going on my own but I am actually sort of excited to do my own thing! I know I am going to be forced to be social on my tour but you know what I think it is going to be really good for me. I think it is going to be sort of a “Hey World, Andrea is Back to Socializing” party and I am going to embrace that and have a friggin’ BLAST! YAY!