Sometimes I feel like I am banging my head against the wall when it comes to this whole weight loss journey. I don't know what my issue is with food. It is either that unhealthy food is easier to access when I am busy and cheaper to buy when I am broke or it's my lack of willpower that sends me right to the sugars and salts. Ugh it is all excused that I just need to get over! I have changed! Right?
My life doesn't look like it's in a good place right now from the outside looking in. I am extremely overweight, unemployed and pretty solidly cemented into my singleness. I don't really know how to prove or explain to anyone that I really feel like a while ago, I turned a corner on to a better path in my life. And lately I feel like I have to prove to myself that, that is still true. It was easy to convince myself in the beginning when the pounds were flying off, when I took being laid off as good news and went traveling. That change inside me was so evident to me then. Lately, I have been struggling to keep that feeling of change and a new direction in my life alive. When I am struggling with food and applying unsuccessfully for jobs not in my field because there are no jobs in my field, it is hard to stay positive about achieving my goals for the future.
I wish I could carry the feeling of empowerment and purpose I feel when I am on the elliptical trainer with me all day. That feeling is what I want my life to be about. That feeling is about taking the initiative go after what I want. I need to figure out away to take that feeling and help me face my cravings and the job search.
I know I am on a better path to the best version of myself, I believe that. And, I am going to prove to myself and whoever else might care, by doing what it takes to get to my best self. Today I pray for strength to help me believe in myself and achieve these goals I have set for myself. I can do this!!!
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