I want to be happy. But "there is no Yellow Brick Road to happiness. You lead life, it doesn't lead you." - Oprah. So, I have to fix the things that don't make me happy. Although, I feel like I have conquered quite a few of my demons this past year. I know I need to get a better handle on my eating habits and I need to face up to my part in destroying quite a few friendships.
As much as I dread having to go back into past, unless I resolve some things I can't move forward. The friends that I cut out after everything went down in Vegas were not just acquaintances. They were friends from the time I was 16. Friends that I had gone through a lot with and who in their own way tried to reach out to me when I was in a bad place. The problem is I hated having them in the middle and hated the reminder that those two people existed. So I cut them out without much notice and it was a cowardly thing I did, in a dark time in my life.
Now don't get me wrong I am not venturing in my past to take up residence there. I am going back to say I was wrong because I'm better than what I did to those friendships. I want to live my life better than I have in the past and that means getting over myself and apologizing. I sent out some messages that might come off as empty to the recipients but they are sincere. Because I sincerely want to go into this next part of my life with an open and healed heart and making this part of my past right seems like a really important step.
So, as per Oprah's advice, this is me leading life and not letting life lead me.
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