Dear Diary,

I know many of you who read this blog notice that I am somewhat a terrible writer when it comes to like actual proper grammar; spelling and I usually miss more than one word in an entry. But when I write it comes straight from my heart and the core of who I am.

I got my first journal when I was 11 years old and I was learning about poetry at that time. And that pink journal with a ballet slipper and a lock on it was magic to me and filled with all my lame 11 year old girl poetry and details on my crush of the moment. Then, one day my little brother wanted to know what the big deal was and stole the journal, broke the lock and showed my parents. Looking back nothing in there was terribly personal but I felt violated. So, I ripped up all the pages and later re-wrote one of my old poems on one of the pages left.

I didn't pick up another diary until I was 13 and I found "my world" was ending and I was leaving all my friends and family in Winnipeg and moving to Calgary. That was a really hard time for me and every time I talked to someone I felt like no one heard me and it was frustrating. So I took to writing it all down; every feeling, every want, every goal, and every single bitch, moan and whine. I must say, compared to the mostly happy childhood in Winnipeg, my angst thing really started in Calgary. So, by the time I moved out of my parent's house in 2006 I had written in 51 journals.

Writing things like this blog and very much so in my journals, is home to me. I feel I can more easily communicate who I am when I put pen to paper or fingers to keys. I find it extremely hard to verbalize how I feel to anyone who can listen but I can write a passionate yet insane note or email to all my crushes of the moment. Poor guys.

I used to be incredibly personal about what I wrote in my journal. So, writing this blog is sort of scary but the reason I do it is because I am tired of being alone locked away in pages and words. I want someone to know every insane thing about me and want to be in my life. Because I am tired of being just a shoulder to cry on or some stupid girl who latches on to your every word just to keep you around. I am tired of hiding who I am because I am afraid it will run people of. It turns out the people who run of, aren't really worth that much anyways.

I am taking a leap of faith with myself when it comes to going after two really big and important goals; losing weight and somehow becoming a television writer. But sharing the journey with whomever happens to read this blog is taking a leap of faith with humanity and that seems so much scary than taking a leap of faith with myself.

I feel like this is the part where I should say, "Hello World This Is Andrea!” And so, I did.