In search of tolerance...

People often get lost in the misery of their problems.

God knows that I am guilty of this way too often. I let the negative thing or person ruin any light that could be found in certain situations.

I focus in on it and I let the hate for that negative thing become consuming. I want to change this. I want to be able to look right through misery when it is screaming in my face and be able to enjoy the goodness life has to offer, in spite of that obstacle. My usual tactic is to avoid misery (or miserable people) and just run and hide from it. But sometimes misery is something that wraps around you and follows you around like a nasty disease. So how does one maintain their grace and poise during these times?

The Dalai Lama suggests, “We cannot learn real patience and tolerance from a guru or a friend. They can be practiced only when we come in contact with someone who creates unpleasant experiences. According to Shantideva, enemies are really good for us as we can learn a lot from them and build our inner strength."”

To think of each unpleasant situation as a test to conquer makes sense to me and speaks to my inner student but the emotional beast in me finds it hard to step out of the situation for a minute and think that rationally in the moment.

But maybe, as Lao Tzu recommends, I should be still and take a moment to breathe in difficult situations, “Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Be still and allow the mud to settle.”

I look for tolerance and patience in the world but maybe that is because I long to find in myself.

“You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.” – Robert Frost.

So, even when those situations or people come into my life and find all the buttons to push I want to be strong enough in my faith in myself to not let them get to me. I know who I am and what is in my heart and that can’t be affected by tantrums, selfishness, screaming, yelling, hate or any other negativity that is thrown my way. I am just going to be still, rational and breathe and get through it.

I am on a mission to change and evolve and that means my same old reactions need to change too.

Okay, since I am on a quote roll here’s one more for the road by the amazing Ayn Rand.

“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.”