Day 7 of Cleanse - Fearless

Today I ventured back into the gym after a long absence. A lot has changed since I had last entered, with the place and with me. I think the gym and me are going to be friends this time around. I know this is true because I can type that and mean that after 2 hours at the gym... 1 hour in the gym doing cardio and 1 hour in the pool doing strength training. All I can say at this very moment to say how I honestly feel is... ow.
It started off nicely enough. I packed my backpack with gym stuff excitedly last night. I slept in but when I did wake up I sprang out of bed and got ready with a spring in my step. It was only in the car with my parents driving to the gym, that doubt started to bubble in. “What if I see someone I have been trying to avoid for two years?”... “I am going to be the fatty working out next to all the Barbies again!”.
And then my mom piped up, “You know this reminds me of your first day of school, every one of them from pre-school to college.”
Ugh... she was completely right! I was repeating a behaviour that I have been doing since I was 4 years old. I would get really pumped about getting ready to go back to school, but the night before I would make myself sick with worry. Hell, that is exactly what I do with every new adventure in my life. I go into to a panic when I pretty much am doing anything for the first time... or the first time in a long time.
Andrea 2.0 stepped in again and snapped me out of it. I am done repeating the same old mistakes. I am going to charge into new things in life with a fearlessness that I have always lacked in the past. I want a new life, so I have to start acting differently. I just need to have faith in myself, in my sitcom writer in the sky, and my support system, that no matter where life takes me.... I am going to be okay. I have to remember to just let go and see what could be if I take some paths that I have avoided in the past.
I took a breath before walking into the gym... I don’t know maybe a breath of fearlessness. I walked into the gym doubtless and determined to walk a new path... fearlessly. The hot YMCA guy who signed me up greeted me and I grinned to him and myself. I didn’t see anyone I knew, I was surrounded by normal people just trying to be healthy and I did my thing.
I was going into my next 15 minutes on the elliptical trainer, after the 30 I had just done before. When I felt like giving up and then right across a man, with what I think might have been a spinal injury, was training with a trainer... and it pushed me. I know it sounds mushy but I did the remaining half an hour for him... and me. I can do this.
So, I finished with cardio and went to the pool and had a great time, as I usually do when I go to a pool. I am rather sore at the moment but I will be there tomorrow. Fearlessly!!!