That old Drama Class High

I love So You Think You Can Dance. I wish I had those bodies and those moves. When I have a few drinks in me, I am usually one of the first people to hit the dance floor and one of the last to leave. I usually have enough reckless abandonment to not care what I look like and just give’r. Actually, I was like that even when I was kid... before booze could help me out. I always got really into singing, dancing, acting and all that stuff when I was younger. I didn’t care what I looked like and if people laughed or smiled or applauded at what I did it just fueled me on. My increasing size through junior high and high school never took away from my confidence on stage, especially when it came to acting. It was only after the nice cushy world of high school drama slipped away that my confidence took a beating and my reckless abandonment faded away... unless egged on by booze.
When I decided to lose all the weight I need to get to my goal weight, I wished to bring back some of that old reckless abandonment and just go for it. And I think I have gotten some of it back. I don’t care what I look like at the gym, even though I leave there every day looking like a worn out, wet dog. Maybe, that’s why I am starting to like the gym a bit more. Because I can just go for it and have sweat flying everywhere and somewhere in me I feel that rush of the stage. The rush of drunkenly wiggling my large arse around a dance floor. It is this freedom of moving towards something, throwing myself into my future ... with each sweaty ½ hour of cardio... I am moving forward and that feels...like happiness. :)