fighting off self-doubt

A part of changing my life is realizing bad habits and trying to change them. I am a very reactive person. I am hungry; I eat as soon as I can and as much as I can. I feel pain and want to distract myself from it right away, rather than deal with it. I was just reading Eat Pray Love and she talks about sitting with uncomfortable situations and even pain. Feeling and dealing with it.
I am finding that without food, I am most definitely being forced to feel and deal with a lot of stuff. It is not about people betraying me or breaking my heart. The stuff I am dealing with is all about me. It is about finally taking a look at who I am without any distractions and fighting to become the person I want to be.
I was hurt and I was broken and I couldn’t find it in me to fight. Not for some balding douche or some supposed best friend ... I was not willing to fight for me! I am not sure what that says about me. I am not sure what that says about my journey head. If life gets as dark and hard as it did before, am I going to just let it all slip away again? Anyways, all this self doubt has really gotten in my head the last couple of days.
I am trying not to be reactive and revert back to the old me by trying to distract myself with food. But I can’t be some positive sunshiny person in this blog and lie about how much faith I have in my plan and my future, today. I am not sure what is going to happen in my future. I know that each day I am finding a new piece of strength in me to avoid the donuts around work and drag my ass to the gym. And that in itself proves to me that this time around... I am ready to fight for myself.